Play Ball

My eye sight is getting worse. I will either have to have my Lasik tweaked or buy a pair of glasses soon but I identify my son as he stands in the outfield at his baseball game. I recognizes his stance and mannerisms and know the left fielder is mine.

Max didn't want to play baseball. He has a somewhat apathetic interest in sports. Something he probably inherited from me. I am a firm believe in the saying, "it is not whether you win or loose but how you play the game". I know my limitations. I am not the type to strive much further then natural abilities will take me. Nor do I get overly upset if the team looses if I have done my best.

I shake my head in disbelief when I see other parents arguing with the Umpires. They make judgment calls. Little league umpires don't make grandiose amounts of cash. I doubt they really side with a particular team What kind of sportsmanship does that show the kids? Is that called teaching them how to act like the professionals?

Pandora

They say misery loves company
We could start a company and make misery

Frustrated, Incorporated
Well I know just what you need
I might just have the thing
I know what you'd pay to see

Put me out of my misery
I'd do it for you, would you do it for me
We will always be busy making misery

We could build a factory and make misery
We'll create the cure; we made the disease --Misery, Collective Soul

"Timing is everything," she sends me.

Time is crawling. I am watching from afar. Wrapped up in silence. Waiting. Black trucks and black shirts spin her head around. I can make them go away. When her fingers touch mine will sparks charge the night?

We want to right the wrongs, change the game we play. I want to be the one she turns too. I want her to feel the way I do. I want to get my chance to undo all the wrongs that she has suffered by all the other hands that have known her. I want to be the one.

But time is crawling and my time seems so far away. You've opened up the box my dear but the evil you've unleashed is only hurting you. Together we will close it. While I pull you from the water you'll be the air I breathe. When I catch you as you're falling, you'll be the wings that set us free.

Friends

To the sound of a heartbeat pounding away
To the rhythm of the awful rusted machines
We toss and turn but don't sleep
Each breath we take makes us thieves
Like causes without rebels
Just talk but promise nothing else Re-Education, Rise Against


"He is really not an easy person to get to know."

"Well neither are you!" Sam says while continuing to cut my hair.

"What are you talking about? I'm easy to get to know...for some people." I don't think of her as someone who would say that because she knows me pretty well and yet that is probably why she does say that.

Some say we have friends on two different levels. There are those we hang on loosely too, comfortable with only sharing the surface image we portray and those we allow a deeper connection to form.

I have very few friends that know all of me. A select few that I share a bond of loyalty, understanding, forgiveness and empathy. Some came easily. Others took time to develop. I am not sure why, maybe it's because I'm older but I cherish these friendships more then in my youth. My character flaws have multiplied as I've gotten older. I appreciate those who understand them, accept them and over look them. Focusing on the sum of the whole instead of the parts.

Close friends claim part of you for their own. It could be a shared moment, an experience, a secret or an expectation. You become a part of them and it binds you together. Sometimes we forget this amongst the pressures of living but it only takes a little time together to remind you why you gave a piece of yourself to them.

"She better not call you (my nickname for you)". #1 states between mischievous grins.

"No she doesn't. Only you and my mom get a way with calling me that. Anyone else wouldn't feel right."

Ascending and Descending

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out
Or looked down on Just try your best, try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
When you're away.

We are often our harshest critic. Advice we'd give to others, we will not heed ourselves. We want to be proud and strong. We want to be like everyone else. We don't realize-- we already are.

When someone believes in you, it can make all the difference in the world. When we want to take three steps at a time because we feel like we are falling behind, they remind us that one step at a time is just fine and that there is nothing wrong with taking in the few from the landings between.

Escher showed us there is no ending and no right direction. But if you look closely there are two people who seemed to already have figured it out. That's where I'd rather be.

Hey, you know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own (on your own)
So don't buy in.
Live right now
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough

For someone else-- The Middle, Jimmy Eat World

Can't Get Sponge's Molly Out Of My Head

When you can't find a song with lyrics that fit, fit lyrics to a song you can't lose.

Disturbed the silence in the air
Tossed out another piece of hair
No one else here, I don't care
You say how are you? How are you.

Time has stopped, you're not aware
I've not seen your face yet I don't care
Only your words it's not fair
You know I want too, yeah I want too.

Don't ask why, don't ask why
Another summer in a dream.

I picture your hand it's in mine
bathed in neon at the time
You turn to me I cross the line
Yeah, yeah

Glass is fragile don't reply
I know you want too, you want too.

Don't ask why
Close your eyes to summer's strain

You Can't Catch A Mist

You feel it on your on face; the cool refreshing tingle of moisture on your skin. It is there all around you, impairing your vision. It dances between your fingers as you grasp for it. It blows on the breeze as you run after it, fades in the sun before you are aware of it.

You can't catch the mist. All that remains is the loss of the touch upon your skin.